The other day it occurred to me—it seems like the number of “empty nests” is shrinking. Is this true? And, if so, why? It didn’t take much digging to find out the simple answer is “yes.” And the simple reason is “multigenerational households.” But the family dynamics of a multigenerational home are anything but simple.
Today, 54 million Americans (1 in 6 people) live in a three-generation home. This number has doubled in the last generation, according to the Pew Research Center.
Here’s a little glossary of terms used to describe the many labels for today’s families:
Sandwich Generation: People who are caring for their aging parent or parents and supporting their children at the same time. These children may be under 18, or they may be young adults themselves.
Boomerang Generation: Children who have grown up and left home, and then returned to live in their parents’ home as adults.
Never Launch Generation: People who are well over age 18 but have never left home.
Club Sandwich Generation: Grandparents who are living with their adult children and serving as caregivers for their grandchildren.
Empty Nesters: (OK, we all know this one) People whose children have grown up and moved out of the house, leaving no caregiving responsibilities (aside from beloved pets, of course).
But for many baby boomers nowadays, that finish line is nowhere in sight.
“No matter how old you are, caring for lots of people with diverse needs is hard work,” writes Michelle Seitzer in her article, Sandwich Generation Stress: Five Survival Tips. (Article at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michelle-seitzer/sandwich-generation-boomer-_b_1153632.html)
Hey, July is National Sandwich Generation Month, so what better time to praise and support those boomers who are making the most of a “far from nuclear” family.
Successful intergenerational-household tips
Here are some great tips from Sheri and Bob Stritof from marriage.about.com:
- Take care of yourself and do what you need to do to stay healthy. This includes having some fun and living life to the fullest! Don't put your life on hold.
- Don't neglect your marriage. Make time for one another.
- Be practical. You can only do what you can do. Don't overload yourself emotionally, physically or financially.
- If you have boomerang children returning home, make sure all your expectations have been shared. Call on them to be responsible adults even though they are living in your home.
- If you decide to have an aging parent live with you, again, share all your expectations. Remember that your parent can and probably wants to have responsibilities in your household. Let them be involved, productive members of the family.
- Protect your privacy and time alone as a couple and as individuals.
- Realize that any unfulfilled dreams may cause problems in your marriage. Talk about these with one another.
- Don't be afraid to ask for help from community and governmental resources. (Full article at http://marriage.about.com/cs/sandwich/a/sandwichgen.htm)
Despite the challenges, multigenerational homes offer the chance to share more and grow more as a family. There are more opportunities to reminisce over cherished old memories…and bond through new shared experiences.
Robert Frost wrote, “Home is the place where if you have to go there, they have to take you in.”
And isn’t that what unconditional love is all about, anyway?
Warmly,
Lilo
P.S. For great resources on caring for an aging parent, visit caring.com. And for more tips on surviving the sandwich generation, go to http://www.genconnect.com/relationships/sandwich-%20generation-baby-boomers-tips-advice-caregiving/.
If you’re not a member yet, sign up on our website today, and begin leaving your family
memories for generations to come.
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