Oh, the joys of motherhood. At least that’s what my mom used to say. It wasn't until about age 9
that I realized her tone was oozing with sarcasm. But I really had no idea what she meant by “the joys”…until becoming a mother myself.
When thinking about what to write in honor of Mother’s Day, I decided to steer clear of all the
mushy sentiments and putting mothers on pedestals. Instead, I decided to get real and write
about those moments that mothers never forget.
Not the precious milestone moments when your baby took her first steps or learned how to ride
a bike. I’m not ashamed to admit I can’t recall with total clarity when those “big moments” took
place. I can tell you, however, the precise moment when my toddler took off his very soiled
diaper and smeared it all over himself…and the carpet…and the walls. (I was baking pies to
take to a staff potluck I was late for.) And I can tell you the exact moment my son raced into the
bathroom, slipped and slammed his head HARD into the side of the tub, creating an instant black eye and the world’s largest goose egg. It was just as we were leaving town to visit my cousin and his new wife.)
Erma Bombeck said: “If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.” She was right. Have you
ever noticed that those “motherhood moments” are the ones we remember most clearly? You
know, like when your 5-year-old came to the front door stark naked while you were attempting
to have a conversation with the vacuum cleaner salesman? Not only are these the moments we
remember long after the more subdued milestone moments fade, in an odd sort of way, these are the ones we treasure the most, too.
For any mom who has had her share of “motherhood moments,” my gift to you this Mother’s
Day is the following mantra. It’s mine, but I will share it with you:
“I'd love to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids.”
My second gift is this list. I found it in a blog article at http://dailysally.blogspot.com/2008/05/family-fun-facts.html, but the blogger didn’t know who wrote this list. It is one of the funniest
things I’ve ever read about raising children.
25 things I've learned from my children
1. A king-size waterbed holds just enough water to fill a 2,000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.2. If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they ignite.
3. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late.
4. One 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
5. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
6. No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.
7. Pool filters do not like Jello.
8. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old.
9. “Play Dough” and “microwave” should never be used in the same sentence.
10. Super glue is forever.
11. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
12. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
13. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
14. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens. Neither do
gerbils.
15. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
16. It does, however, make cats dizzy.
17. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
18. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42
pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.
19. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.
20. You should not throw baseballs up in the air when the ceiling fan is on.
21. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
22. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
23. The glass in windows (even safety glass) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
24. Your sister's head will, however, stop that same baseball.
25. Sisters hit in the head by baseballs cause a LOT of commotion.
HESE are the memories—and the pearls of wisdom—worth writing down and
preserving…then sharing with your kids when they become parents of their own.
iLivediLoved makes that possible.
Your children (and grandchildren) will love reading about (and seeing photos and videos of)
those infamous moments that only you can share with them.
All you have to do is sign up on our website and start sharing. What you create will be preserved in your “digital keepsakes box” for the rest of your life. Your keepsake messages can either be delivered to loved ones at the end of your life, (or very soon, our site will allow you to schedule the date you want each message to be delivered…even if it’s years in the future). Plus, you can opt to have your entire digital keepsakes box passed down, so these wonderful, memorable stories remain in your family forever.
The happiest of Mother’s Days to you,
Lilo
P.S. Of course, you need not be a mother to preserve your colorful life experiences at
iLivediLoved. But you do need to be a member!
Heehee snicker snicker this was great! :)
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