A Life More Thankful—The Importance of Gratitude

Gratitude is one of our most profitable (yet often overlooked) assets. In fact, the ancient Roman
philosopher Cicero ranked gratitude as the chief virtue, above all others.

While it’s easy enough to express our feelings of gratitude once a year on Thanksgiving as we
stuff our faces with turkey and mashed potatoes, how do we find and maintain gratitude on a
daily basis?

An article by Claudia Morain titled “Thanksgiving can be a year-round blessing, researchers
say,” discusses the scientific link between gratitude and happiness. Here are some excerpts from
the article.

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Although gratitude is often the “forgotten factor” in happiness research, psychologists at the
University of California, Davis, and the University of Miami are engaged in a long-term research
project to help rediscover its importance.

Compared with those who dwell on daily hassles, people who take time instead to record their
reasons for giving thanks also feel more loving, forgiving, joyful, enthusiastic and optimistic
about their futures, while their family and friends report that they seem happier and are more
pleasant to be around.

"Gratitude is literally one of the few things that can measurably change people's lives," UC Davis
psychology professor Robert Emmons writes in his book, Thanks! How the New Science of
Gratitude Can Make You Happier.

Here are some tips from the book to help you cultivate a more grateful approach to life:

• Keep a gratitude journal — Write down and record what you are grateful for, and then when you need to reaffirm your good lot in life, look back on the journal.
• Remember the bad — If you do not remind yourself of what it was like to be sick, unemployed or heartbroken, you will be less likely to appreciate health, your job or your relationship.
• Ask yourself three questions every evening — Fill in the blanks with the name of a person (or persons) in your life. What have I received from ___? What have I given to ___? What troubles and difficulty have I caused ___?
• Learn prayers of gratitude — One that Emmons suggests in his book from the Buddhistteacher Thich Nhat Hanh: "Waking up this morning, I see the blue sky. I join my hands inthanks; for the many wonders of life; for having 24 brand-new hours before me."
• Appreciate your senses — One approach: Practice breathing exercises.
• Use visual reminders — For example, Emmons has a refrigerator magnet in his home bearing this quote from Eleanor Roosevelt: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery. … Today is a gift."
• Make a vow to practice gratitude — "Swearing a vow to perform a behavior actually does increase the likelihood that the action will be executed," the psychologist said.
• Watch your language — It influences how you think about the world.
• Go through the motions — Research shows that emotions can follow behavior.
• Be creative — Look for new situations and opportunities in which to feel grateful, especially when things are not going well.  

(The full article can be found at http://dateline.ucdavis.edu/dl_detail.lasso?id=13082%20)

 

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Teaching gratitude to children

As elusive as thankfulness can sometimes be for adults, it’s a valuable and important lesson for us to teach our children…and the earlier, the better. There are easy ways to cultivate your child's natural thankfulness. The article “How Kids Learn Gratitude” by Jean G. Fitzpatrick has some great ideas. Here are just a few of them:

• Create a year-round thanksgiving spot. This is a home altar of sorts. Find a convenient but safe place--the refrigerator door, a bulletin board, or a small table or shelf. Make this a special spot for things you are thankful for--pictures of people you love, souvenirs and memorabilia, handmade treasures, and, of course, your child's artwork. Invite your child to add his or her own items, and set aside time now and then to admire the objects and pictures together.

• Say thank you to your family. Research suggests that people are actually more likely to express their thanks to strangers or acquaintances than to their own family members or peers, according to the National Institute for Healthcare Research. But when parents show appreciation to one another, to their children, and to other people in their lives, children learn to do the same thing. When your child does a household chore--even if it's one of his or her assigned tasks--say thank you. When your partner does something considerate, express your appreciation.

• Slow down and smell the roses. Babies and toddlers are fascinated by sights and sounds and smells, from the color red to a ringing bell to cookies in the oven. The older we get, the more oblivious we become to the everyday sensory pleasures of the world we live in. When we pause to enjoy them, we regain the openness that is an essential part of gratitude. Make sure your child doesn't spend so much time with electronic entertainment that he or she misses out on the tactile joys of flowers, plants, crayons, paint, music, and dancing.

• Teach your child to write thank-you notes. Even if kids write them on a computer, thank-you notes means more when they specifically mention the gift and say something appreciative about it. Writing thank-you notes to coaches, teachers, baby-sitters, neighbors, clergy, and other caring adults helps a child appreciate all the people who care about him or her (and it's a nice antidote to the complaints most adults hear). 

(To read the rest of Fitzpatrick’s article go to http://www.beliefnet.com/Love-Family/2000/11/How-Kids-Learn-Gratitude.aspx?p=1)

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So now that you’ve learned the key to happiness is being grateful, what are you going to do about it?

We are Facebook posting and tweeting inspirational quotes about gratitude and giving thanks all month long. We hope you enjoy them. Here’s one of my favorites:

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." ~ Innerspace

Warmly,

Lilo

To read more of our favorite quotes about gratitude, visit our Facebook page.